Well it's over! Me and hugh have split up!!
It all started last week. We had a great week at first. How it used to be. He spent Valentine's Day with me. Sent a dozen roses to my office. It was going well.
But one day I was at his office and he had new bed sheets on the bed in the apartment at the back of the office. The bed was full of his body hair. He's quite hairy. He promised me that he would never have sex with the wife in there, that it's our place, so when I saw his hair all over the bed I jumped to conclusions. I know that when we have sex and he is fully naked his body hair goes all over the place and it was all over the bed. So soon as he came back into the room I said you had sex with her here didn't you. He kept on denying it, said she often wanted to but he refused, asked why I think that, I just said I have my reasons. He carried on denying it, and said he slept here the other day like this, and lay down diagonally on the bed, with his legs coming of the bed and head in the middle of it. I started to think I was being silly and paranoid but then that made me doubt him even more. Who sleeps like that! We carried on talking about it, and I said so what you sleep naked here. He goes yes I do and knew I accused him because of the hairs. Anyways whilst I kept on accusing him and he kept on denying it he slowly moved me and lay me on the bed, and we had sex but yet again, he came quickly, which annoyed me quite a bit this time. Anyways I left the office and called him later when he was just about to have a nap on the bed. He text me after to say he just woke up, he had the heating on and he slept naked. I text him several times telling him that if he swears on his mum's life that he did not have sex on the bed with her I'll shut up about it, but he didn't. I know it sounds like a small thing but when I accuse him of something and he hasn't done it, he tends to swear on his mum's life. But this time he didn't. Then I said to him that night and the next day that because of him not swearing on his mum's life, I just don't believe him. Anyways it dragged on, and I just said to him look, I know you're lying to me but it's giving me a headache now so let's forget about it, but told him I can never do it at his office again so he has to find somewhere else that's our place.
A couple of days later, guess who was texting me again - the wife!! There was a pic on his phone dated 23rd Jan. She kept on going on about it, saying we met that day or I sent it. I denied both, said he probs had it somewhere and sent it to his phone, and if he's carrying pics of me instead of her she needs to sort it out with him. Next day she called me, told me how things are so much better between them, they are much happier, they have a great sex life now, etc etc. I called Hugh and had a go at him, got really upset. But I calmed down later on and text him to say sorry for being so weak.
The next day she called me again, he text me the night before to tell me she's got one of his phones and she saw the text, she asked me why he would text me that, then carried on telling me how happy they are. I have also learnt to play her at her own game. I gave her advise and one of the things I suggested was to have sex at the office to spice it up, so I can see what she says. She became obsessed at that, kept on asking why I said that, and asked what makes me think they haven't already, which made me think that perhaps he was being honest. She hung up. I left my phone on my desk and went away for 2 mins, came back to see 4 missed calls and it started ringing again - she pressed redial on his office phone, my number came up and so she saw he called me. I said I have no idea he called me, and that went on. She carried on telling me about their plans together, how their sex life is so great, they do it every night, and so on. Hugh was in court, he's doing jury service, so I couldn't speak to him yet. I called him when I finished work and shouted at him, told him he's a bastard and a liar, that I've had enough of his lies, asked what he wants with me, and started saying I don't need him in my life, and then he goes fine, don't have me in your life, I've got your numbers, I'll give you a call when she's gone. And that was it. I was so angry. I sent him a text saying I always knew he was a coward when it came to her, but never thought he'd be one with me. I was devastated. After everything, he dumps me like that, over the phone. I was so upset. The next day I sent him a quick email to ask if he's going to class on Saturday, and he said probably not. I asked him to let me know so I can give him money that I owe him.
I met him on Saturday after the class. I had mixed feelings when I saw him. We had a coffee in Selfridges, and I gave him £260.00. There was £100.00 that I borrowed from him last summer when I couldn't access my money, and another £160 that he gave me extra when he was paying for a course. He refused to accept it, and then said he'll only accept it if he buys me something with it, to make up for all the gifts he never got me - anniversary, xmas, etc. I told him I don't want anything from him at all, he kept on trying to give it back and I wouldn't take it. We talked, well he talked I listened and had tears (in the middle of Selfridges). He kept on saying to me it's best if I am out of his life for now, so he can detach himself from her, because, as he says, everytime he's moving forward something that concerns me, like a text, email, photo comes up and he's put back a step. I didn't believe him and he knows that. We left and he insisted on driving me home, and obviously she was calling him like crazy. He carried on talking and I didn't have much to say. Then I started to accuse him of having fucked me over, and everything he said to me was a lie, and that he had his way with me, and he denied it all, and I just screamed at him to stop lying to me. I started to talk, told him I can never forgive him for how much he's hurt me, but he kept on insisting that this is not the end, just a break for him to sort himself out without me getting grief. Anyways, he dropped me off and I just walked off in tears.
I got home, and she started texting me. Acting all friendly and that she's happy and hopes I am and how is my boyfriend? I instantly became suspicious. Asked her what she wants, she said she wants to be friends. I knew something was up. After a few texts she said to me tell me why you were together today. It turns out that when she was calling him, he accidently answered without realising and she heard the whole conversation. Although by what she was saying she only heard me when I shouted at him to stop lying and only heard bits of what he said. I told her we bumped into each other in Selfridges and he offered to take me home because I wasn't feeling well. She still text me all night till 1.30am and I really wasn't in the mood but still put up with it. Anyways, next day (today) I text him to ask if he has anything to say. I know we're not together anymore but it would have been decent if he checked if I'm ok after her bothering me for hours. We talked about what happened over msn. I also asked him about the money I gave him, said I may have given him too much as I'm really not sure whether I paid back that £100.00 or not. He said to me he won't give it back, but he'll buy me a Ted Baker dress that I want instead, that I saw the other day. He said he was planning to do it secretly and get it sent to my office. I told him not to, that I really don't want anything from him.
And that's that. It's over. I've been a mess for days. Listening to love songs, crying, as I have done whilst writing this. He has really hurt me, so much. I guess I'm going through the break up now. And it's going badly.
I also haven't done much studying. I have an essay due tomorrow, and I have only managed 33 words all day. Not only has he hurt me, but uni work is suffering to.
I also have an office drinks reception on Thursday which I have been watching my figure for. I wanted to look good in the dress I am going to wear, but instead I'll look fat, because of him!
He's pretty much fucked me over, and I never realised. My mum always warned me about guys like him - ones who say a bunch of bullshit to have their way with u, fuck u, and then dump u. But I thought he was different, I really thought he loved me, what a fool I've been.
